There has been a lot happening around the globe as of late, a large percentage of which is arse-tightening terror. Simultaneous suicide bombings, invasive surveillance and a debt so outstanding it has crippled an entire continent.
But that doesn’t mean Australia isn’t part of this; we have so much to complain about, take our latest outrage for example “Sexist menu inflames Gillard: Abbot is still a misogynist”.
That’s right, the most pressing issue we cover is our female Prime Minister accusing our male (let’s face it) soon-to-be Prime Minister of being mean. The top of Australia’s political worries is a sexist and disrespectful menu and men in blue ties… I mean really- a menu, no mass protests threatening an autocratic and heavy handed leadership, no religious massacres leaving men, women, children and the elderly as their victims- you mean in the hell-pit that is Australian government we have never had internal terrorist organisations causing international wars spilling over our borders. No. Never? Well then shut up!
I mean honestly, the greatest PR spin Labor could put on their campaign right now is “Who cares about what you say- we’re just glad we’re not dead”; a sentiment that Gillard and Co. should be pushing much more than the gender card.
This egotistical and downright Machiavellian attitude of Australian leaders has seen broad disinterest in politics by pretty much everyone else in the country.
Filling the position of the highest political leader is a cat fight of personalities and contradictions at a national level, meaning the possibility of entering politics to make real and lasting change in the world is not even part of the Australian PM’s job description. Rather they are placed in the top spot to disagree with whatever another Australian says, ensuring neither one makes changes at all.
No one wants to take advice from the two kids at the dinner table throwing peas at each other, especially when the other guests haven’t eaten in months and are locked in a steak knife fight to the death.
With so much bickering and tattle-tailing and apparent backstabbing internally we have lost all credibility to assist internationally.
You know what Iran would say is worse than being betrayed and receiving a metaphorical knife in the back- receiving an actual knife in the back, for opposing the president!
You know what Lebanon would say is worse than having two similar parties to choose from and a voting system that involves every citizen- not having a voting system!
Poland would laugh in our face for having all our politicians still alive, and not plummeting to earth in a poorly assembled jet.
An urgent rethink on priorities should be on both parties to-do list, including but not limited to, rerouting funding from stupid campaigns targeting women voters to saving the lives of actual people drowning at sea due to war in their countries, or conversely, using the power and position of being the voice of the people to actually act for the people; maybe try some referendums, allow same sex marriage, be either for or against carbon taxing- pick one, have an open and humane approach to asylum seekers or out-rightly reject them- either option would be respected at this point.
While child-like and moronic have been used to describe our political system in the past we can also add the effective title of wishy-washy and the phrase ‘brain numbingly repetitive’ appearing with thanks to Liberal party get-together’s. Yes we know Abbot hates the ladies, yes Gillard sings it’s a man’s man’s world more often than James Brown- it is accepted as fact, now wouldn’t it be a good time to move on with the country’s best interest at the forefront, instead of these faux dramas.
Rather than trying to spin their way to victory, perhaps the parties should use the never before seen tactic of actual governance to ensure long term employment. Implementing significant policies that impact globally and locally; brokering peace deals through diplomacy, funding education or healthcare, even caring about the state of our prison system and attempting to create a semblance of rehabilitation would all be valid points to carry for re-election.
Never before has a country had this absolute serenity and botched it so effectively. We have a strong economy; the citizens are relatively content with all aspects of their lives, so take this time, make great changes and reward yourselves with the gift of not being executed in a drain pipe like a certain Libyan president.
It may be hard to think of ourselves as part of the world, but there will come a time when the actual shit will hit the fast moving and potentially dismembering fan and will herald in an age of political chaos and democratic butt-rogering. But for now, while our only scandals to date include “Ute-Gate” and “Menu leaves bad taste” we can rest easy in the knowledge our country is far from sharing the burdens of our international counter parts, so everyone should calm the fuck down and try to get some work done.